100: Whacked by a plane while skydiving.
099: Hit by a boat while water skiing.
098: Had an accident with a Twinkie.
097: Stubbed my toe really bad.
096: Swam too close to someone who peed in the pool.
095: Owed money to the mob.
094: Picked my nose too deeply.
093: Kicked a kitten.
092: Was bitten by a penguin.
091: Called an elephant "Dumbo"
090: Tap-dancing accident.
089: Colored outside the lines when I was little.
088: Punted a puppy.
087: Fell down an elevator shaft.
086: Buried too long in the sand at the beach.
085: Etch-a-sketch malfunction.
084: Grandma hugged too tight.
083: Sat on a tack.
082: Slipped on a banana peel.
081: Someone Heimliched me wrong.
080: Ran with scissors once.
079: Went to a bad proctologist.
078: Used a fork when I should have used a spoon.
077: Drank the blood of my enemy.
076: Had sex with a teletubby.
075: An incident with an Oreo cookie.
074: Tried to hold in a fart.
073: Voodoo
072: Dodge ball accident.
071: Crippled by a Wookie at a Star Wars convention.
070: Forgot to clip my toenails.
069: Drank Dr. Pepper that was past the "Best by:" date
068: Wore stripes with plaids.
067: E-mail virus.
066: Tried to mail myself to Australia.
065: It happened at a Square Dance.
064: Faking it.
063: Tripped on a Barbie Doll.
062: Looked directly at a solar eclipse.
061: Sneezed too hard. (Or coughed)
060: Dated Paris Hilton
059: Fell out of my tree house.
058: Hit by a nerf ball.
057: Trampled at a Britney Spears concert.
056: A fly flew into my mouth.
055: Tried to mimic my Slinky.
054: Carried a heavy book bag in high school.
053: Ate a bad Ho Ho.
052: Forgot my parachute.
051: Fleas
050: Swept up by a tornado.
049: Was mistaken for a pinata at a birthday party.
048: Picked at a scab.
047: Walked in another man's shoes.
046: Brushed my teeth with Preparation H.
045: Too much cotton candy at the fair.
044: Jumped for joy too joyously.
043: Bent down wrong while picking up a penny.
042: It happened while I was waxing my legs.
041: Filled up on candy.
040: Wore the wrong size shoes.
039: Peed in the shower wrong.
038: Went to a faith healer for a pimple.
037: Never learned to walk when I was little.
036: Stepped on a crack. (Mom's back is fine though.)
035: Crossed my legs wrong during yoga.
034: Playing footsie with a girl.
033: Miniature golf.
032: Spilled grape fruit juice on a white carpet.
031: Forgot to wear socks.
030: Hit the ground before I woke up from the dream.
029: Beaten by cops for jaywalking.
028: Infected hamster bite.
027: Stumbled into traffic while sleepwalking.
026: Stung by a butterfly.
025: Was standing at the end of the rainbow when it hit.
024: Talked with my mouth full.
023: Put the batteries for the vibrator in the wrong way.
022: It happened while I was shaving.
021: Ballet misstep.
020: Walked around with a rock in my shoe too long.
019: Pushed a door marked "Pull"
018: Walked under a ladder.
017: Shot by hunters who mistook me for a rabbit.
016: Tried to kick Rosie O'Donnell's ass.
015: Didn't have enough for gas.
014: Spilled hot cocoa with marshmallows into my lap.
013: Crushed by a snowman when I was young.
012: Fell in a well when I was three.
011: Skateboarding
010: Stepped into a gopher hole.
009: Parked in a handicapped space. Beaten by a gimp.
008: Sneezed and coughed at the same time.
007: Toes pulled too hard in a game of "this little piggy"
006: Toe jam gone bad.
005: Wore my mommy's high heels when I was a boy.
004: Let a girlfriend paint my toenails.
003: Got my toe stuck in the bathtub faucet.
002: Bad socks.
001: Spina Bifida